Sad Monkey

I was listening to a really interesting podcast from Radiolab the other day. It was on the topic of zoos and how they have changed and what affects they really have on the animals inhabiting them. At one point the host was talking with a scientist who did a study on monkeys and the level of luxury with their cages. For the sake of understanding, they were broken down into classes; upper-class, middle-class and poor. The upper-class monkeys had enclosures that were much like nature with plenty of food variety and lots of toys to play with. The middle-class monkeys had less exciting enclosures and less toys, but nevertheless still not a bad place to live. The poverty level monkeys had a square cell with not much to do, and just adequate food to keep them healthy.

The scientists took brain scans of all of these monkeys and found that there wasn't much difference in the upper and middle-class monkeys. Their brains showed signs of growth and progression despite the differences in environments. The poor monkeys, on the other hand, showed significantly less brain growth - 20% to 40% less. Holy Moly.

As I sat there listening to this podcast at work, I couldn't help but be struck by how much I felt like those poor monkeys. Think about it, it is a great analogy for life (and really? How much different are we than those monkeys?) I'm at a job where I feel caged in daily. In a way I'm trapped. I hate being here, but I can't leave because there are absolutely no job openings around here. Northern Michigan is not exactly a hot bed of job opportunities right now. My creativity is squelched on a daily basis by my superiors, and most everyone is always in a pissy mood. We took a huge pay cut last month, and well, it gets kind of hard to stay optimistic under these conditions.

But going back to that study on monkeys...

The scientists eventually took the poverty level monkeys and placed them into nicer living conditions awaiting what they would see on the new brain scans. Within 2 to 4 weeks they noticed huge advancements in new growth. If one could guess by brain scans alone, one would assume that they were much happier monkeys.

And this is where the moral of the story comes in. How do you get yourself out of that stagnant cage? How do you get yourself to the next level where your brain can be challenged and allowed room for growth again? I'm not exactly sure at this point how I am going to get there, but I do know that it needs to happen. Change is definitely scary, but I think 10 more years of the exact same kind of misery is terrifying.

Here's to brainstorming a way to achieve one's dreams!



The very reason why I don't wig out and quit and a daily basis is that smiling little mug you see above. >sigh<

Breather

Now that the weather has turned for the better, I pedal myself to and from work every day. The fresh air and exercise is quite the cleanser and that is a good thing too.

I was all riled up and ready to trash talk my job, but after a little sunshine from the lunch time ride, I just don't care anymore. Bicycle meditation: it does a body (and mind!) good.

Lust

I have to blame my friend Amanda. On a crazy whim I offered to photograph her wedding and she accepted. It was in a word (or two) a blast! I now understand why so many photographers get addicted to weddings. The good vibes, the happy people, and so many willing subjects. Any artist would be attracted to the art of how a wedding story unfolds and I can't say that I am immune.

But, I know my place as an amateur. Two senior portrait sessions and a wedding do not make me by any means a professional. However, the more clicks I make and the better the pictures get the more I realize that I may be ready for an upgrade. That, my friends, is why my google search bar rolls its eyes at me as I type in once again "Nikon D300." It's embarrassing really.



I see photos taken with that camera and they all look so rich and buttery. My little camera goes green with envy at what the D300 and D700 can do, but it also laughs at me when the prices of its big brothers pop up.

So for now my D50 and I do what we can do and I have vowed to grow my skills even more. A personal challenge that I have given myself is to learn how to shoot completely in manual mode. I've never been a girl to switch to automatic, but having to think of all my settings all on my own has always been a little daunting. Well, no more - I will learn. And once I do, then and maybe only then, may I consider an upgrade.



Unless of course somebody would like to toss a D300 in my mailbox.

It Happens: Life

So what happens when something that is at the very core of your being and self-image gets turned upside down? How do you gather yourself up and carry on?

A few days ago, my little sister took a wrong step on a slippery wet field during one of her soccer games and blew out her knee. Surgery is inevitable and she is looking at months and months of physical therapy. For someone like me, this kind of injury would, well, suck. But I don't live my life around the amount of time I spend in my shinguards. I would have the surgery and do the exercises, but it would be for the health of it - not for the sake of my athletic career.

Kelly, on the other hand, is a star player who has a college scholarship awaiting her. She is merely weeks away from graduation and for her this is a huge blow. Kelly has been on the soccer field since she was four and as she has grown up I have seen just how much she relies on soccer to keep her straight. I can see that from the perspective of a lifelong runner who understands the discipline of training, pushing one's limits, and always working toward an unfinished goal. If Kelly is anything like me, she needs that daily grind of being out on the road (for her a field) working up a sweat. Running for me is my release and I know that soccer must be hers.



The upside to this whole situation is that her college has agreed to not drop her scholarship and to work with her to get her into the upcoming season. The sun has not gone down yet. Kelly is also a very healthy young girl who has more muscle and grit than most of us. Age and health are tremendous factors in recovery and she has both to her advantage. The only advice I could impart to her at this point would be; be patient.

While training for last year's marathon, I hit a huge obstacle with my own knee trouble. It wasn't near as bad as Kelly's, but it was still a major hitch in my training. Rick's aunt is a physical therapist and she quickly had me in a steady routine of stretching and strength-building exercises. They were tedious, grueling and very boring. I was going nuts not being able to hit the road and get in my training miles. It was weeks of nothing but exercises and cross-training on a bike and swimming. In the end, the physical therapy is what got me through the knee injury and back on the road. I finished my marathon and my knee held up the entire distance. So many times I wanted to give up and throw those exercise sheets out the window, but those are exactly what made my knees stronger.



Being patient won't come easy and there will be so many days you will want to give up, but hang in there Lou! You will make it through this.